Come~ Come~ Come~ My unfortunate Uglies. Today your beautiful Yumichika has decided to be most charitable and amiable. I will take you under my wing and teach you to be the best that you can be. True, your level will never come close to mine, but to have a taste of almost-perfection is a gift that I would like to bestow upon you. Strength and beauty are things most necessary for a full and wonderful life! ♥ Let me serve as your beacon of hope and guide you with all my radiance.

I know a few of you are rather shy about stepping up for aid, but do allow me to address you personally. It is the first step in crawling from your ugly shell, you pitiful larvae. ♥

Speaking of insects, oh ugly Cockroach-chan~ Come to me, you worthless thing. ♥ My greatest efforts will be reserved for you, for you are in dire need. Let us work on that sloppy physique, shall we? And that mask has to go as soon as possible. So much work, so much work...

Shihouin Yoruichi~ ♥ Those split ends. Tsktsk! Such thick and pretty hair made ragged by your lazy and careless ways. And you must be careful of those hips as well. It looks as if you've already delivered a litter of kittens. Imagine that at your age! Give yourself to me and I will transform you into a delicate, wild-eyed sex kitten~ Meow.

Kurosaki-san, let's not be tacky. The hair color has to go. And your pores are atrocious. Do you ever bathe after your battles? I could build a mountain from the clogs in your skin. You'll never win the affections of that ample-bosomed bombshell with those nasty habits.

Ah, the Arrancar and their Rat King. Save the best for last, mn? What isn't wrong with the lot of you? Where to begin, where to begin... I'm afraid that there is no hope for your filthy, greedy, pieced-together toys, but you still have a fighting chance, Aizen-san. Even though your personality is awful and your actions are bastardly, you manage to be civil. Why can't your looks follow suit? That slicked back hair. Really... I believe I saw a pimp of sorts in Karakura Town with the same style.

Ahh, even the dogs have my mercy today. The poor, disgusting things. I will groom them accordingly and locate suitable collars. Something with a jingle, perhaps...

So much to do and so much friendly aid to supply. Yes, City, your Beautiful Messiah is waiting. ♥


[ooc: cursed like a mother eff. And yes, this is him being friendly. Cursed or not, he is still himself. >D]

A present, is it? This is your idea of a present? In my waraji, no less. Well then, to show my gratitude, I offer you this:

I'll find you, Shihouin Yoruichi! It doesn't matter if there is a curse today or not! I will weed you out even if I have to sort through every animal in this city! How many foul, tasteless, lazy cats can there be? Or perhaps you were turned into something more fitting for your personality. A pig, maybe. I'll skin you, demonic woman!

And as for the rest of you. How unfortunate. Let us hope that the City cursed you to be something of decent beastly beauty. If I have to wander through the lot of you, I'd prefer not to gain eye strain by the end of the day. My eyes are not suited to behold anything less than lovely. And stay out of my way, else I'll have your pelt.

Had I been cursed, surely you all would be painfully stricken green with envy.



[ooc: Pissed desu! :D Yoruichi left a hairball in his shoe. Yumi smash. Today he has a distaste for felines. Especially black ones. Feel free to attack/harass/kill him with cute at will, animals. He will be all over the city, invading your posts. Watch out, Kuchiki.]

[Enter Yumichika into the 11th household, missing since early last night. He spares no glances toward nor regards any members that may be present. The only sound from him is the soft slide of his feet against the floor as he makes his way to his room. He drips with blood of both his and his opponent's and the fresh scent of gunpowder taints the air. His skin is scorched and littered with burns, clothing torn to shreds in some places, but his hair is strangely kempt. A wig, for every self respecting beauty has one in times of crisis. A stern, unreadable expression dawned, negative energy radiates from his being so thick that even Kushi and Dribbles-chan slither from his quarters with a whine and a tail tucked between their legs. The door to his bedroom closes behind him.]

( [Private// Unhackable] )


Hanatarou-san.



[ooc: FINARRY I get to use one of his bloody icons! >DDD Post-scrap with Papillon. The outcome was an epic draw in which he received the most damage and failed to kill Papi. That's just about equal to a loss in his mind, so he will be pissed. His SPESHAL technique was thwarted from full efficiency because he got that ass blown up. What he did manage to drain from Papi has helped to heal the more minor of his wounds but he's still a hot mess. The cause of all this? Yoruichi and her booty. They cause far too much trouble. >D tl;dr stfu]