Come~ Come~ Come~ My unfortunate Uglies. Today your beautiful Yumichika has decided to be most charitable and amiable. I will take you under my wing and teach you to be the best that you can be. True, your level will never come close to mine, but to have a taste of almost-perfection is a gift that I would like to bestow upon you. Strength and beauty are things most necessary for a full and wonderful life! ♥ Let me serve as your beacon of hope and guide you with all my radiance.

I know a few of you are rather shy about stepping up for aid, but do allow me to address you personally. It is the first step in crawling from your ugly shell, you pitiful larvae. ♥

Speaking of insects, oh ugly Cockroach-chan~ Come to me, you worthless thing. ♥ My greatest efforts will be reserved for you, for you are in dire need. Let us work on that sloppy physique, shall we? And that mask has to go as soon as possible. So much work, so much work...

Shihouin Yoruichi~ ♥ Those split ends. Tsktsk! Such thick and pretty hair made ragged by your lazy and careless ways. And you must be careful of those hips as well. It looks as if you've already delivered a litter of kittens. Imagine that at your age! Give yourself to me and I will transform you into a delicate, wild-eyed sex kitten~ Meow.

Kurosaki-san, let's not be tacky. The hair color has to go. And your pores are atrocious. Do you ever bathe after your battles? I could build a mountain from the clogs in your skin. You'll never win the affections of that ample-bosomed bombshell with those nasty habits.

Ah, the Arrancar and their Rat King. Save the best for last, mn? What isn't wrong with the lot of you? Where to begin, where to begin... I'm afraid that there is no hope for your filthy, greedy, pieced-together toys, but you still have a fighting chance, Aizen-san. Even though your personality is awful and your actions are bastardly, you manage to be civil. Why can't your looks follow suit? That slicked back hair. Really... I believe I saw a pimp of sorts in Karakura Town with the same style.

Ahh, even the dogs have my mercy today. The poor, disgusting things. I will groom them accordingly and locate suitable collars. Something with a jingle, perhaps...

So much to do and so much friendly aid to supply. Yes, City, your Beautiful Messiah is waiting. ♥


[ooc: cursed like a mother eff. And yes, this is him being friendly. Cursed or not, he is still himself. >D]

...Ewh.

So many sick faces to deal with. I can't take them all in in one day or I'll lose my vision! Just think of all the disgusting germs floating about in the air now. My poor, vulnerable skin...

The lot of you sick ones, keep your distance. I can't afford your viruses ruining my day. All that sneezing, coughing, flustering, and so on... Threatening to invade my superior body. I shudder at the very thought! Isn't it a human remedy to bite the heads off chickens in hopes of better health or something like that? Whatever chickens are, find one and bite it already!

Honestly, this City is annoying. Most of the Deities are probably leather-faced snobs with nothing better to do. Except that Sabine. What a pretty one she is~ Her skin is so nice.

I'll kill that other one for what he did.

Restlessness has taken me. Hanatarou, I will be over to view movies and such things on the television. It's really too bad Kira-san wasn't able to watch his adult movies before he left the city.


[ooc: D: sorry for dropped tags and missed posts. Semester has been kicking my ass sideways. It will all be over in December. ;-; Papi, Yumi hates you. Sick humans are gross. kthanxbye]

( [Shinigami Filter // Hastily Coded] )

Halloween? What purpose does this celebration serve? To put a mask over this face would be a most blasphemous thing. Idiotic.

Death the Kid's most esteemed father, I would like to make your aqcuaintance.


[ooc: Half BAW/Half Bored. Slightly agitated. Pre-Menstrual Shinigami desu.]

[Enter Yumichika into the 11th household, missing since early last night. He spares no glances toward nor regards any members that may be present. The only sound from him is the soft slide of his feet against the floor as he makes his way to his room. He drips with blood of both his and his opponent's and the fresh scent of gunpowder taints the air. His skin is scorched and littered with burns, clothing torn to shreds in some places, but his hair is strangely kempt. A wig, for every self respecting beauty has one in times of crisis. A stern, unreadable expression dawned, negative energy radiates from his being so thick that even Kushi and Dribbles-chan slither from his quarters with a whine and a tail tucked between their legs. The door to his bedroom closes behind him.]

( [Private// Unhackable] )


Hanatarou-san.



[ooc: FINARRY I get to use one of his bloody icons! >DDD Post-scrap with Papillon. The outcome was an epic draw in which he received the most damage and failed to kill Papi. That's just about equal to a loss in his mind, so he will be pissed. His SPESHAL technique was thwarted from full efficiency because he got that ass blown up. What he did manage to drain from Papi has helped to heal the more minor of his wounds but he's still a hot mess. The cause of all this? Yoruichi and her booty. They cause far too much trouble. >D tl;dr stfu]

Ah, another year beneath my sash. Unlike some, I haven't lost count of the days since my birth. Time continues, and the years gently grow in number like ripples upon the surface of water. Mine have eternity to come to an end, so I watch them in all their splendor. Just how many rings have formed, you ask? That is something you will never know~ ♥ And it is customary to give gifts for birthdays, isn't it? Ikkaku, you may purchase this item called an "iPod" for me. I hear it is an exciting thing to have.

And while I am on the subject, what is all the curiosity about Shinigami lately? While I am flattered to be admired and asked questions about how something so beautiful as myself can exist and only be seen by certain Idiots, I don't think it is wise to reveal everything. Some things are better left taboo. As a guardian and deliverer of souls, I offer a small piece of advice: Live a good life and live it well. Not doing so only makes my job more difficult.

In addition, I've been spared from a string of curses save one. I've discovered that it was not a curse but some sort of unexplained mishap. Be it Deity or some other cause that turned me female, I will have your head. ♥

Furthermore I--

THERE IS A HOLLOW TAKING RESIDENCE ON MY BED! AND A WOLF! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!

KUCHIKI-TAICHOU!


[ooc: Birthday was Sept. 19th. ;o; Ichigo is teh dumb. Doesn't mind the blood on the carpet. Just found out about THE DOG MONSTERS.]

[After the initial shock at his new body, complete with frantic screams, flailing and bogus accusations, cue Yumichika eyeing himself in the mirror. Acceptance has hit. And so has the video feed button on his communicator.]



...Ikkaku. I need your assistance.

Annoying City. Really.


[ooc: Yeah. One last lulz for the road! Let's make it a good one, people. ♥ Yeah it's Rihanna STFU. The hair worked, okay?! Sampling sweets in the City did this to him. Watari, you'll die. PS. All residents of the 11th household will come upon this cleaning the Junk Room. ]

City.

♫♪ I can tell you wanna taste it, but I'm gone make you chase it
You got to be patient, I like my men patient
More patience, you take might get you in more places
You can't be abrasive, has to know to pace it

If I let you get up on it, you gotta make a promise
That you gone put it on me, like no ones put it on me
Don't bore me, just show me, all men talk but don't please
I can be a tease, but I really wanna please you ♪♫

Explain.

I have been staring at this tomato for the last three hours and I have decided.

I simply can not eat it! ♥

What an interesting and, dare I say, fun curse~!

And before I forget, I am doing much better than a few days ago. My spirits are higher as you may be able to tell. I will be in rare form tonight at work.

Dearest friend Ayame and Princess Tomo-chan, a young and pretty woman is in need of high quality work. You were recommended to her by yours truly. Please accommodate her.